Ten years ago, my life was crap: I despised my husband (even though I still loved him), I resented my job (even though I still went every day and was very good at it), I loathed myself (because I wasn’t supposed to feel this way). I was unhappy and goddamnit, it was their fault: my husband who wouldn’t stop annoying me, my parents who wouldn’t stop nagging me, my colleagues who wouldn’t stop pushing me, my friends who wouldn’t stop ignoring me.
I gave my best (and quite frankly my worst), I gave my all (and probably more) to change them. I had nothing left but the pretty shell I had created.
But there, in the void of Netflix-filled nothingness, I heard a voice: “There is more”.
And some small part of me believed it.
I went out and got help which came to me from very unexpected people in the most unexpected places: church basements, parking lots, the Grand Canyons, ski hills…. They taught me about powerlessness, detachment, and serenity. About integrity, values, and responsibility.
I am still married to the same man, working with the same people, daughter to the same parents. And I am happy. Not every minute. My life isn’t perfect, and neither am I. But I am overwhelmingly more happy than not. Yes, even now, in pandemic times of uncertainty and puzzlement.
Since my first steps into recovery I have been openly and curiously following the breadcrumbs that keep appearing on my path. And here I am – a Martha Beck Certified Life Coach. Ready to help other women find what I have:
• Radical acceptance of others as they are, including myself as I am
• Unconditional love, truly, without any conditions
• Fiercely protected boundaries
These things are what I need, so that I can have what I want and deserve: Joy, Creativity, Freedom, Connection, Love, Friendships, Partnership, Family Relationships…
What do YOU want?
Maybe you don’t even know.
That’s okay.
A lot of women don’t. We just strive for things that we (and our families, friends, society…) think we should want. I know I did.
We can start right here, in the beginning.